Over the past 5 years I have been processing.
Processing who I am and what I want.
Processing how the world works.
Processing my transition from Medium to Seer to Mentor to Healer to me.
The witchy woman that lives at the edge of a city, Emma.
The woman that has been on her own since 17 and made a place for herself in the world one day at a time.
I’ve never followed a plan.
I’ve never truly had goals.
Through my processing I have learned a couple things.
1) I am an EMPATH extraordinaire. I feel people’s emotions so deeply they become my own. Which for me if im not fully in my power can be detrimental. But if i’m in my flow……that means I can deeply understand you and what you are going though.
2) I am a Pisces through and through. Emotional, GIANT heart and willing to do anything for anyone at the drop of a hat…… and sometimes this is my biggest weakness. I OVER give…….I will work until I have nothing left for myself. I also HATE structure……but I need it. Gah I’m a walking oxymoron.
3) I’m DEEPLY connected to the earth and it needs to be a part of my life daily or I wilt. As in…..bare feet on the ground, spring, summer, fall and yes, even winter! If I can’t see trees my body aches. It’s why we live in a forest and I can only stand being in the city for a day at most.
4) I’m a Manifestor in Human Design, we only make up 8% of the population.
We are the advisors and teachers of the world. Our job is to inform. Not do. So I need to share my thoughts and feelings and knowledge………that is it. I also have come to learn through HD that I am SUPPOSED to work in bursts. I’m not supposed to work hard for extended periods of time. This last piece has helped me so much in the past 6 months I can’t even tell you. And finally……when I am triggered I get ANGRY. Yep……I feel that one in my bones. So instead of reacting immediately, I’ve learned to sit with it. Not react immediately and process.
And I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg. Working with your Shadow means DEEP self discovery. DEEP awareness of yourself and others around you. It’s about recognizing the things in you that society may not label as acceptable.
Like working in bursts. Society tells me that I “should” be working 9-5pm. I “should” take weekends off and I “should” work more than rest. But for me that is a recipe for disaster. I have burnt out so many times, I can’t even tell you, all because I listened to “Society”. And there have been moments that I listened to my heart and only did readings or replied to emails on Tuesdays and Thursdays because it felt good. But then my big giant GIVING heart listened to the whispers “But I work Monday to Friday…….”
”But I can’t do a daytime session….” and I caved. And everytime I caved, not long after I burned out. Feeling so spent that it took me MONTHS to recover.
So this time……I’m standing FIRM.
Session are on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 10am and 2pm.
And I’m only teaching/advising and not hand holding.
I’m here to inform and have a big heart that has limits.
I’m here to take up space and show up exactly how I want to work. Not how “Society” wants me to work.
And I invite you to do the same. Investigate your nature. Who you are when you are at your best AND worst!
Take all of those things into consideration and make a plan as to how YOU want to show up in the world and then FUCKING do it!